


in the sandstorm

by gigglesandfreckles



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: :(, Fluff and Angst, Hermit Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sad Obi-Wan Kenobi, Young Luke Skywalker, practiced being sad, what did obi-wan do for all those years?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:28:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26808151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigglesandfreckles/pseuds/gigglesandfreckles
Summary: when Tatooine's weather takes a turn for the worst, Ben Kenobi finds a young boy in need of shelter and some lessons on how wonderful his dad had been.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Luke Skywalker
Comments: 5
Kudos: 94





	in the sandstorm

**Author's Note:**

> someday I will write from the point of view of someone who is not obi-wan kenobi. that day is absolutely not today. what can I say...his trauma just ~calls~ to me.

None of it would have happened if he hadn’t decided to try and be a _kriffing local_ , rescuing stray parts to trade with the _Jawas,_ of all beings.

He’d stayed afloat for so many years on the meagre funds that were annually routed via Bail, but at a certain point, business with the Jawas became the least conspicuous way to continue to survive. They drove a hard bargain, but Ben had a few tricks up his tattered sleeves, so he normally managed to walk away with the better end of the deal.

They weren’t picky about what he gave them. As long as the something was shiny or made some sort of noise, they were content and would babble their way into acquiring it. Ben wasn’t picky about his compensation, either. Food was just as good as credits on Tatooine, if not better.

When the winds started to pick up, he knew the tin scraps he had loaded in from the valley would be goners unless he got them inside. This was no easy task in the first hour of a Tatooine sandstorm, however.

The sandstorms could last _days_ and Ben didn’t feel like leaving his source of income to the throes of the Tatooine climate for that long. So he ventured out, pulling his hood down as far as possible and donning the goggles that always reminded him of Ahsoka.

He’d almost grown acclimated to the overwhelming sting that accompanied that memory.

What he _didn’t_ expect to find was a small boy a few hundred metres away, desperately trying to restart his speeder.

Ben squinted, unable to make out any specifics beyond the size of the human and shoddiness of the speeder. He hesitated for a moment, thinking of his tin scraps and how hard he had worked to pull them from the valley.

In the end, his begrudgingly innate desire to help won out.

“Hello!” he called out, bellowing over the screech of the accelerating winds.

The boy continued fiddling with the handles of the speeder.

“You there! Excuse me!” shouted Ben, struggling to even walk amidst the assault of wind and sand.

This time, the boy looked up and Ben stopped short.

_Fuck._

Of course it was him. Ben should have known that the twisting of his gut had little to do with the impending storm and everything to do with the Force.

“Are you talking to me?” managed Luke, cupping his hands around his mouth.

Ben considered turning around and heading back to his hut right then, forgetting the tin _and_ the boy. But _blast_ that desire to help.

“Yes! Are you having trouble with your bike?” He was close to the boy now. Close enough where Luke could understand him without having to scream and close enough for Ben to see all the similarities he had absolutely no business in noticing.

“Yes, sir,” nodded Luke with a frown. “It stalled out and I can’t see enough to reattach the converter.”

“The storm is only going to get worse,” Ben pointed out, looking at the hovering bike.

“That’s why I’m in a hurry to get it fixed. I’m...a bit far from home.”

Far, indeed. The Lars lived on the other side of the canyon, closer to the spaceport. It was strange that Luke was out this far at all.

“You’re not going to make it home in _this_ storm.”

Luke looked like he already knew this to be true, but wasn’t willing to accept it. “My aunt and uncle will kill me if I miss dinner again.” he whined.

“They cannot kill you if you are already dead,” quipped Ben with a dry smile.

The boy stared blankly for a moment before his lips quirked up into a half-smile. “They’re pretty persistent.”

Ben paused again, wondering what the hell he was _doing._ How many times had Owen Lars already been out to his hut asking, telling, and then _demanding_ Ben stay away from Luke? And how many times had Ben chastised himself for being unable to quell his own curiosity, his own seeming desire for more hurt?

“Perhaps a sandstorm is not the ideal place to repair a speeder,” he began slowly. “You are welcome to bring it into my workshop. I have a few spare parts that you may find useful.”

Luke’s eyes widened. “Oh, no, that’s all right. Thank you, sir, but I--I really have to get going. Like I said, my aunt and uncle will--”

“Be more forgiving of your tardiness than your death.”

“Well,” Luke grimaced, “that’s a good point.” He stared at the ground for a moment, chewing at his lip, before he raised his gaze to meet Ben’s. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Of course not. We should hurry. The wind is about to shift.”

He was right. Between the two of them, they barely managed to get the stalled bike into Ben’s before the winds completely changed directions, as it always did before the worst of it. This was a good sign, because it meant it would be a short storm. A couple hours, perhaps.

But it also meant that Luke wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“I was perhaps a bit generous with the label _workshop_ before.” Ben shrugged as he surveyed the small cave.

“It’s great. Thanks, Mr.--” Luke blinked as if he only just realised he didn’t know the name of his saviour.

“Ben. Ben Kenobi.”

“Ben,” nodded Luke. “Thanks for your help, Ben.”

And then, because it all suddenly became a bit much for the old man, he dismissed himself, letting Luke know he would be up in the main room if he needed anything.

Anakin’s _son_.

He’d spent the past several years watching over the boy from afar, occasionally getting a bit too close for Owen and Beru’s comfort. But this was the first time since he had held the wailing infant in his arms on the long ride to Tatooine that he had spoken directly to the boy. 

Life on Tatooine was lonely, but Ben felt that was a small price to pay for the pain he had afflicted on the galaxy. On this child.

Anakin’s _son_.

“Mr. Ben?” Luke’s head popped up from the small door that led to the workshop.

“Just Ben,” his lips twitched. “What is it?”

“I think I’ve got her figured out. Thank you.”

Ben’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “That was fast.”

“My uncle says I’ve already been pretty good with mechanics,” Luke shrugged.

Ben was thankful for the table that was in between them because it gave Luke a better chance at missing the way Ben’s knees momentarily buckled beneath him.

Of _course_ he would be good with mechanics.

“That’s a useful trait,” Ben was impressed with his own ability to sound so detached.

“I’d rather be a pilot.”

He was transported, immediately, to his desperate attempts to teach Anakin the basics of Coruscanti traffic laws. It was all to no avail, of course, and he had the sneaking suspicion that Anakin had _enjoyed_ seeing his Master green in the face.

“What were you doing anyway?” probed Ben. “There’s not much out here aside from Jawas and some sand people and I certainly hope you weren’t getting mixed up with them.”

“No,” Luke shook his head frantically. “There were some tin scraps in the valley a few days ago that I thought I could attach to my uncle’s old regulator to freshen it up. I came to try and get them, but they were gone anyway.”

Ben swallowed. “I see.”

“The truth is,” Luke leaned on his arms, offering a look of guilt, “my aunt told me I can’t go past the canyon until I’m ten…”

“And how old are you now?”

“Nine,” he said proudly.

This time, Ben did little to hide his physical reaction as he dropped into the solo chair that occupied his living space.

“You’re...nine?” he sputtered.

“Aunt Beru says it’s an important age, but I feel like it’s just getting in the way of me being a real adult,” Luke scrunched his nose sourly.

Had it really been _nine years?_

Ben had stopped counting the rotations after the first few revolutions. Besides, Tatooine days were longer than Coruscanti ones and he had lost track of it all so long ago.

But _nine years_.

That would make Luke the exact same age Anakin had been when Ben...no, _Obi-Wan._..had taken him on as his Padawan.

For the first time, Ben let himself wallow in the pool of nostalgia he was so insistent on staying away from. It was impossible not to look at the boy in front of him and see the icy blue eyes that had provided Obi-Wan an open door into the emotions, struggles, and joys of Anakin Skywalker on so many occasions. 

Luke’s shaggy blonde hair was even reminiscent of Anakin’s after he cut it himself in a desperate attempt to blend in with the other Padawans. It had looked atrocious, of course, and Obi-Wan had been forced to shave it to near baldness in an attempt at recovery. Those were a rough few weeks for Anakin…

“Why do you live so far away from everything?” asked Luke. “Don’t you get bored out here?”

Ben withheld his dark chuckle. _Bored_. As if he had the time to be bored amidst all of the _remembering_.

“I’m a simple man,” Ben shrugged.

“Have you lived here forever?”

Ben paused again, wondering how to go about this particular answer. “No, I moved here several years ago.”

Luke’s eyes widened again. “You moved from another planet to _Tatooine?_ You’re crazy!”

“It was a necessary change,” Ben pulled a smile. It felt unfamiliar and his dry lips cracked in response.

“Well,where’d you come from?”

“Oh, here and there.”

“How many systems have you been to?” Luke looked at Ben with fascination.

“A few hundred, I imagine.”

“A few hundred? Did you just say a few _hundred?_ ” Luke scrambled out of the small door in the floor, taking a seat on the floor in front of Ben. 

“I used to be a traveller.”

“Wow,” sighed Luke in wonder. “I can’t believe you chose to retire _here_.”

“Retire?” asked Ben indignantly. “Who said anything about retiring? How old do I _look?_ ”

Luke shook his head frantically. “No, Mr. Ben! I just meant that I--”

“It’s all right, young one,” Ben smiled. “I was only joking.”

“Oh. Right. Ha ha!” the young boy rather obviously forced a laugh. Like Anakin had done so many times when he’d first arrived at the Temple, not fully grasping Obi-Wan’s sarcasm for _months_.

“What’s your favourite planet?”

The question took Ben by surprise. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have preferences. He’d certainly choose Kashyyyk over _Jakku_. But it was difficult to think of any planet without thinking of the stories that came along with it.

“I always had a particular soft spot for Ryloth,” Ben finally landed on. “It’s been mostly decimated by the Empire now, but we had some good memories during the years of the Republic.”

“Who?”

“Hm?”

“You said _we_ . Who is we?” Luke tilted his head and then practically bounced up off the floor. “Do you have a _droid?!_ ”

“I don’t have a droid,” Ben shook his head with a chuckle. “I was referring to someone I used to know. A friend.”

The word fell flat and Ben knew he was drastically undershooting, but he couldn’t bring himself to say what he had finally admitted to Anakin on that night of hell so long ago.

A _brother._

“Oh. Well, what’d you do?”

“We helped people,” Ben shrugged. “Twi’leks, in that particular case.”

“So before you moved here, you just...travelled from planet to planet and _helped people?_ ”

It was such a simple way to chronicle the Jedi, but Ben found that he quite liked the description.

“Essentially.”

“ _Wizard_ ,” sighed Luke.

Ben tensed up again, surprising himself at how a simple word could affect him so viscerally. It had been years since he’d heard that particular bit of slang, long before the fall of the Republic.

Anakin had picked it up from friends on Tatooine and taken it with him to the Temple, practically _infecting_ the entire initiate class with the jargon. Obi-Wan had received more exasperated frowns from other Masters during those few months than any other time in Anakin’s apprenticeship. Until Master Yoda had held a seminar for the Padawans on understanding the meaning of a word before using it, one could hardly turn a corner at the Temple without hearing a high-pitched “Wizard!!!!,” followed by the heavy footfall of a running youngling.

“The storm should let up within the hour. I was about to make some broth...would you like some while you wait?” Ben stood from his seat.

“Sure,” Luke nodded enthusiastically. “Thanks!”

Ben made himself busy in the corner that he had attempted to make a kitchen. Running water was a luxury Tatooine did not have, but he’d managed to configure a sort of well system in his hut during his first year on the planet.

“Mr. Ben?”

“ _Ben_ ,” he corrected. “Yes, my young friend?”

“Do you think you could tell me stories about your travelling and helping people? Stories about you and your friend?”

Ben paused, his hand hovering over the pot. He closed his eyes, drawing a deep breath. 

It hurt. It hurt so much every damn day to remember.

But this was Anakin’s _son_.

A boy who would never know the wonderful, impulsive man who had been his father. 

He turned back toward Luke, his first genuine smile in nine years playing at his lips. “I’d be happy to.”

**Author's Note:**

> not gonna lie...the nuance of anakin vs. vader and obi vs. ben is difficult for me to capture in words, but I think all of us in the fandom have a little different idea on how obi-wan copes with all of it. I personally see obi-wan seperating it all in his head because he physically cannot handle the reckoning that he knows to be true. this is just my take--I welcome any and all feedback on how you view the separation or lack thereof with their pt and ot personas. 
> 
> thank you for reading as always! xoxo


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